Role Models

Isn't funny how eventually, all of us will become our parents. We will try to deny it, fight it, change it... all effort that will go wasted. We mimic our parents/ guardians because we spend 18 years of our lives watching them. The good and bad come in a package deal, no returns. With that being said, I might be one of the luckiest girls out there :)

I am blessed beyond belief with two amazing parents who are still together, which as we all know is rare. My mother is hands down, the greatest person I know. Now I know all of us say that... but honestly my mother has a way of softening someones heart with her kind and healing touch. She can turn a cloudy day into sunshine, pain into relief and anger into laughter. She makes a difference everyday, how many of us can really say that?

Please pray for my Mom and other volunteers as they head to Haiti with Friends and Family Connection tomorrow. They will be serving the people of Haiti with their service of love and hope for a better tomorrow.

I love you Mom. You are my role-model. Thank you for being a wonderful person.

http://ffccsd.org/

Living with Less Makes Us Sexy

Decided to post these videos, taken the day we moved in. We popped a bottle to celebrate (our friend accidentally took a video, and ran through the house with sage to get rid of bad omens and spirits).

Isn't it funny how easy it is to minimize your worldly items when you move? And just how quickly and easy you consume to fill your life back up? I think is important is that we do not overly consume. As Americans, we always want the next best item, the newest trend, the best electronics. We even purchase more items to simplify our lives. I know I personally like to purchase items because it fills a temporary void.

So even if you haven't moved in a while, take a look at what you own. How much of it do you really use? If you haven't worn that shirt in a year, donate it. If you feel that your items are weighing you down, I suggest this book/blog written by Joshua Becker. http://www.becomingminimalist.com/ following this lifestyle shows us how to "stop consuming and start living"

I know for myself I am trying to use less. One of my dreams in a different life would be to give away everything I own (minus the sentimental things) and travel with nothing but my backpack. Then I could really live minimalistic once I returned to a place I wanted to call home.

Thing about what you own and compare it to who you love. A mere reality of what really matters in life, to love and be loved in return.

Resolutions

Today is a new year, a fresh start, a clean slate. An opportunity to focus on the things that matter, start a new diet, change your routine. Although we have the ability to do this everyday, there is something about the New Year that allows us to begin again.

I am the keeper of many friends and family's resolutions throughout the years. I can look back in my book and tell a loved one their resolutions from last year, and it is always a wonderful feeling when you know you have accomplished them. I know for me personally, almost most of mine happened. The biggest one in 2011 was to move out of California, which has brought me to Denver, CO.

Which leads me to my goals for the dreaded year of 2012.

1. Start writing again. 2011 was a giant writers block for me.

2. Adopt a dog. I need to wait until I live in a pet friendly establishment... The 21st floor with no yard is not suitable for a best friend.

3. Finish my Master's in Education.

4. Run a half marathon in Denver. I have a lot of training to do...

5. Lose the lbs I gained, back to healthy Ashley.

6.Forgive and let go of the past.

Focus on your goals and resolutions for this year. Let me know if you need me to be your accountability partner, it is important to share them.

wrong

I washed my sheets so the sent of you no longer lingers on me when I wake. Your tiny pieces of hair are no longer grazing my nose when I lay my head down. I picked up all of the photos of you and me and hid them in a dark box, ready to gather dust. Your cards you gave me, well those are still sitting on my bedside table but the pain to read them will be unbearable.

This is it. Take your memories I don't need them. Take your pride and your ignorance and push me farther into the ground. Manipulate me more and more until you get what you wanted from me,. until there is no more of me to give to anyone else.

Abuse me, slap me hard. Tell me I didn't give you what you wanted. Tell me again. Make me feel like shit so no one else has to, cause you know I'm best when insecure. Blame it all on me.

Control me, tell me what to do. Use me only when you need me.

Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault

I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life

Alive

Sometimes it is better to bleed than to remain unscathed. Covered literally from head to toe in bruises, cuts, acne, bumps, ETC makes you human. People often say that pain is what makes you feel something, I disagree. I believe that it is the aftermath of that pain that makes you feel like you are living, like "shit, that sucked". Even things that don't leave a scar or a bruise, something positive like a memory or a picture; they are what makes us feel. It is the experiences I have lived out that make me hurt, smile, laugh, cry and feel alive.

When we feel... for lack of a better word, depressed, we allow those experiences that make us so alive in turn make us feel dead. The wrath comes from our souls being crushed and a loss of faith. \Faith in a higher power, faith in a loved one, faith in yourself.

Having faith in something or someone including yourself will turn your bruises into blessings and your scars into smiles. :)

Imagine a world with no tears, war, heartache, death. Although it may sound like a perfect world, we wouldn't feel. The pain helps us appriciate the good in life. The chance to make it what you want happens every morning when you wake. So it is with you... :)

redonkulous!

Working my ass off these past 5 days. Wow. Sickness has overcome me like the smell of grandma perfume. Reminding myself to breathe. Ahhh

How I used to manage so much in my world and suddenly I am overwhelmed. Constantly at battle with myself. My two very distinct personalities attack each other at times that they should be working cohesivley together.

I know it seems as though everything in your personal universe is against you. This is a reminder that it is not true. You are in control more than you think. Only you can control your own actions, and how you react to others actions. How you react is how your day will go. Mind over matter.

Well I leave you with amazing song lyrics from Pearl Jam, classic american artists. I envy them and the life that they have had making music. The times certainly have changed, doing what you love just isnt as easy anymore. How I wish that I could live on the road making music and having people love it, 60's status. Tonight I will dream of 1967 and seeing live music.



AMEN

PuppyLOVE

Utah is filled with children. Young and old, tall and short, happy and sad. The funnest part for me is watching how the parents interact with them. Some are quiet, others scream. In my living complex there are a lot of families. The kids run up and down the hall, the parents scream and threaten. It makes me wonder what having kids today is really about.

I can imagine having kids is like having someone that you care for so deeply, someone that you are attached to. You care for them so much but they are not at the same intellectual level as you yet. They have so many life expiernces to discover, so many rules to learn. They can't learn everything quickly, these things take time and patience.

Although I am not a parent screaming and threatening everywhere I go, I can understand their reason for doing it. Having someone that you care for so deeply who is younger than you and going through rough times is difficult. You want to hit them upside the head and scream "get it already". But patience is a virtue. They will learn.

Speaking of children, I miss my puppy Hazel. She went through some rough surgery yesterday and came out alright. She is the disobedient spoiled turd who I miss yelling at. When you are all alone and had a rough day, puppy love is always there. No judgements, no fronts, just pure undivided love. And they love giving it to you too, not matter how much you give in return. (RIP Alex: the greatest love giver in the world) :)

I have yet to find an animal shelter here, I am in need of my puppy love. But until then I have plenty of work ahead of me. Tonight is the night where we invite friends and family of all the new hires to come eat for free. We should be cooking plenty of burgers on fresh grills that have never been used, fryers that have never had oil and 2 shake machines that have never been filled before. It's exciting to be going down in history !

The next week will be a crazy one, with snow storms headed in this weekend. When I get a day off I am going to try to head up to the mountains and ride some famous Utah powder, I heard its the greatest snow on earth...

go get some love-AB

Me at the only bar we could find in Provo last week! My Initials! ABG!